How PVC Pipe Sizes Will Prevent WWIII

The promise of mutually assured destruction may no longer be a large enough deterrent against an all-out nuclear holocaust. America and Russia have recently gotten into a bit of a feud, and nobody wants to come out looking like the weaker nation. Thus, we are once again on the cusp of the largest game of chicken ever, a new Cold War. But in a world where tough talk and claims of superiority dominate the international political arena, one defender remains to prevent everyone’s destruction: PVC pipes and their different sizes.

PVC Pipe Sizes: The Lone Defender

Now, before I can elaborate on why PVC pipes will prevent WWIII, I must first elaborate on why size does indeed matter. Pvc pipes need to be able to telescope (fit adequately) into other PVC pipes. Like zombies, PVC pipes garner their strength from numbers. Well, numbers and their very composition. Pvc pipes are a combination of plastic and vinyl melded together to make an extremely durable product that is quite difficult to damage. They don’t even rust over time. Now that’s quite a pipe.
Ronald Reagan spoke of a defense strategy against nuclear missiles colloquially known as Star Wars wherein America would use strategically placed missiles both on earth and in space to blast nukes long before they could reach the USA. I am suggesting a similar strategy. We need only to have networks of PVC pipes in the sky ready to drop down and intercept missiles.

PVC Pipe Sizes: The Bridge between Nations

Now, for those who are naysayers and think this plan is ludicrous, I have a backup plan. Rational dialogue can help prevent the mutually assured destruction of both America and Russia. However, some people believe we are past the point of speaking. I say we merely need to remind ourselves of how similar we all are, and what better ice breaker is there than mentioning how both America and Russia use the same high-quality pipes? Pvc pipes are the new diplomats of the twenty-first century.